Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Blinding Lucidity

She sits home ... alone she wonders what's next, what step?
She thinks back to what days were like before, before she was engulfed in the life she lives now.

She knows only of the pain now... The days that left her with a smile and a fulfilled heart are vanishing, the memories are stained with the events that emerged tears so dark she can barely see the imprints. 
How did I get here? Where am I, Who am I? A life of pain and and lies? Rubbing her chest, she massages her heart to revive what shes lost, but its over, she can't bring it back so she sits...

 Visions overwhelm her, she's bombarded with, memories? Are they dreams? She doesn't recognize them; A woman with a wide smile with a gleam in her eyes, a man whose every glance is fixated on her, he hangs on her every word... Who are they?

She sleeps light, her mind heavy, weighing her down while it races, 'Why is none of this familiar yet I see it so vividly?' So out of place, she forces herself to sleep, to a place where she feels safe, the only place anymore... There he is... So familiar, he stands tall, hands firm but soft, one holds her chin while the other her hand. She looks up to meet his stare and he fades. She hears the words that have stung so deep as he disappears. The words appear in front of her like a marquee in the shape of his silhouette, as sad violins begin to play she reaches out as she starts to go blind and only the sound of the strings guide her to lucidity.

She awakes unclear on what she has just witnessed, still so clear in her mind she starts to dwell on the thought of him... Who is he? Where did he go? An instant shock of desire and admiration hits her and just as quickly as it arrived, just as quickly it reprieves...

She's exhausted, day in and day out of this same recurring dream, or nightmare is more like it. She stands and walks to the door, there he is; His hands look tattered and rough, they lay at his side, he's hunched over his eyes just as lost as his soul. The words cutting so deep, the violin plays louder the lies are now screaming in her ears as she stares at him with nothing but certainty. This is regret, his regret. She sees all of her memories playing in front of him as if they were part of a tragic movie... He falls. His face so heavy in his hands and low to his knees... As he comes to his feet, he begins to speak, but all has been lost .... 

She is now free.