Please excuse me, I'm in a Random Moment Mode rather than a Random Read Mode ....let me focus...
Becoming an adult takes a lot, it means having responsibilities, relationships, and making decisions and realizing that others are effected in what decisions you make...
Becoming Mature means understanding this.
Everyone thinks that because you become a certain age that emancipates you, that you're an adult... Let me tell you a little something about being an adult...
At 12 years old I was figuring out bills, I no longer had a mother (not that I ever really did) a Father was non existent; I took on the role of a Mother to the person who means the most to me in this world. My grandmother made sure I had a childhood but even with the childhood, I didn't go a second without thinking of her or what she needed, just as any mother would do for her child. Now, this isn't saying anything in regards to the way my Grandmother raised me, only she could have taken my situation and made it what it's become; This is me saying that when you are raised by someone and they are all you have and they are 60 years older than you are, something just happens where the tables switch and a new world of responsibility introduces itself.
I became an adult at 12 years old, and full fledged grown up by 16. Now I may not feel my age but I think it's because I've been an adult for over 16 years now and this is nothing new...
I had been hurt and turned away by so many people in that time that it was like what else could I do but ignore it. I was letting it effect me to the point that it started to consume me until one day I realized that the rage was going to take me to a place that was unfamiliar, and I do not do well with unfamiliar...
Every person whom has ever entered my life unlawfully made it a point that I knew they were there, except for the fact that they never had any explanation as to why... They felt they could just mooch off of my life and I don't know, Live vicariously through me and while they realized what I had and the way I lived was not up to what they pictured for themselves, they did what people only in their positions know how to do... HATE... Defile... Create Situations to feel better about them selves... or the way I like to say it is... THROW A PITY PARTY, invitation for 1 and whomever else they can drag with them.
In my mind I had begun to fall into the trap without even realizing it until I realized I was becoming sick, emotionally drained and I stopped ... I stopped just long enough to say... Nothing.
It was time to starve their attention, time to let them feel the way they kept trying to make me feel, the only way to do it was to beat them to the punch. I took control of myself, made MYSELF realize they were the ones with the issue, it wasn't me...Anything they had to say about me at my worst was still more than what they were doing at their best... So why am I the one that's being effected?? I no longer was...
I learned if you're not with me you're against me and being against me is not worth the time or energy to show you the benefits of being with me... Because clearly you already know them and are intimidated by them so that's obviously not going to work for the situation.
Rage is not your friend, I'm not sure how many understand that but it starts with hate and grows with jealousy ... Which ends up getting you nowhere. I grew up and have 12 years of understanding under my belt, while it's always a learning process, I know enough to take what comes and attempt to understand the situations. The people against you only take you to the place they dwell, which is downhill from where you've been, and already come so far from...
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