Sunday, June 28, 2015
As I bow my head I begin to ponder...
The way of the world, the issues I face on a daily basis and the turmoil I am in.
My mind begins to thrash around, from one thought to another, and on to another.
I close my eyes, and quietly speak to myself while trying to get my thoughts in order before I say the words I want the Lord to hear.
So overwhelmed by the worry that can overcome my heart, I begin to feel anxious and I can feel my lungs collapsing as my heart begins to pound. Everything becomes cloudy and I can feel the reality of everything beginning to fall a part. At any moment this beautiful and wonderful world that My Creator created could come crashing down on me.
I search the deepest part of me and find nothing. I clutch my fists tighter and tighter in an attempt to hold on to whatever I can even though I feel like it's all slipping away.
With my eyes closed and my head bowed I begin to tell God that I'm sorry for whenever I may have not praised him in the moments I should, when my life is in turmoil. I just find it so difficult to find a reason to, not because he hasn't given me reason to but because I'm so overwhelmed by what Satan has thrown at me, or the fact that I just failed. To praise him at my lowest point just seems counter productive to me, but I do. Eyes closed, head bowed hands clutched together, I do.
Forgive me... I've failed you, and because of that I have failed myself. I know that in my darkest moments is the best time to praise you and I failed. I'm lost Lord. I have not lost sight of you, I know only you can bring me out of what I'm in, but I became consumed by my worries and for that Lord, forgive me. I know you will never leave me and I am calling on you Lord to save me from this mess I'm in.
And just like that, I fall to my knees and I bow to him as I can feel his hands around me and healing my wounded heart, my worries have left and in that moment my heart begins to beat at a normal pace, my lungs begin to fill with air, my hands loosen their grip. He speaks to me in the most beautiful voice I've ever heard.
"Your heart speaks for you. I know your cares, your worries, desires, your heart speaks the words you can't seem to form. You don't need to worry, I will not forsake you, I will never leave you. Never lose your trust in me, know that I am here."
And in the midst of the prayer I felt the spirit of the Lord come over me, and in that I saw his face. It was nothing of what I've imagined. It was the epitome of Love, and in that moment I knew that the Kingdom of the Lord was behind me, and because of that I am not only blessed but victory is coming.
Posted by Di Jax at 8:12 PM
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Who Are You?
When was the last time you looked at yourself and the decisions you make and asked yourself, Who Am I?
Now, don't get me wrong in no way am I saying I'm perfect. As a matter of fact, on a regular basis I look over my thoughts and stances on things and ask myself if they equal up to the person I'm striving to be.
It's no secret that I am a very Unashamed Follower of Jesus Christ. Not only am I a follower of Christ but I am also someone who understands what that means. I know that being a follower of his means also that I am a leader, a leader of his church; as a leader of his church it means leading others to him.
Leaders lead by example. I am not going to ever come close to the greatness that he is, but in my brokenness I can show exactly how much he loves me, and because of his love for me I can show him and others how living LIKE Christ is what not only has changed my life 100% but show who he is in a world full of people who have never met him, or worse, have some misconstrued idea of who he is.
I know many of us would like to believe that we aren't, 'That Christian' I do my best, my very best not to push my beliefs on anyone and keep an open mind when it comes to the differences between myself and others. This does not mean that I don't speak proudly about them.
I choose to let my life speak for me. I try very much not to debate unless its absolutely necessary.
In the times we live in there are many things to have opinions on. As a Christian I have begun to find it very difficult to live in a world who tries to shut me out because I speak the truth of Christ, because I believe in something that the Bible says will be persecuted against. In a country where I am supposed to be free, my 'religious' freedom comes with conditions. Where because I choose to express my difference of opinion on certain topics that popular right now in our country and elsewhere, I am the minority, I am bashed or as people like to label things now I'm 'bullied' because of it. But if you know me, then you know bullying me only gets YOU so far.
I am not quick to judge, oh, at one time yes. A time from before, before he changed my heart. But when he changed my heart my perspective changed. I do not wish death upon anyone. I pray for those who choose to sin against me and those I love. Because I know what it feels like to live in the pain they are, and if you knew that pain you wouldn't wish them anymore. I see ISIS running around raging a jihad under "God" but this is exactly what tells me they serve the darkness. No true follower of God (this God that is supposed to be the same as ours) wants anyone to suffer, because God doesn't WANT anyone to suffer. Will our God bring his vengeance? Yes when he should see fit, but that is up to you.
As human beings who believe in God, we forget that what we say has a lasting effect, not just on ourselves, or others but on God. Yes he's forgiving, but if we aren't thinking about our words and the meaning behind them, how can we ever feel the remorse we need to in order to repent?
We aren't called to shame others, we aren't called to be superior to others, we are called to show God's grace and mercy to those who probably have no idea who he is in order to show them something they've probably never encountered. You can't call people racist names and find some reason to justify it and then still call yourself a follower of Christ. You don't get to pass judgement upon someone simply because you find some way to justify your intentions. Christ would NEVER do and definitely NOT say the things you've said. So how are you showing others who Christ is if you are knowingly, consciously doing these things?
This isn't a letter to judge anyone, this is something just for us all, including myself to think of on a daily basis. What makes you different from those who don't follow Christ, from ISIS and those you have an opinion on?
It isn't just about "What Would Jesus Do?" It's What would Jesus want YOU to do.
Posted by Di Jax at 11:19 PM