Lost and Found

I Bowed my head today with thoughts of sadness and an emptiness. The travels that life takes us through had left me feeling lost. I have often wondered why I had been trapped n some of the awful places I have been or why am I doing something that normally I wouldn't do, and then...

I reminisce back on the times I had, I think about the awful moments and I walk down the dark roads that I had traveled and I start to realize that I wasn't traveling them alone. Looking down the dark road I see a bit clearer the further I get. Through every Hard night, dark morning, through every tear there they were, right there with me.

The Night in the park when I felt my innocence being ripped away from me, they were there giving it back to me.

The Nights I cried over broken hearts, they were there to show me a broken heart mends...

The times that seemed as if it couldn't get any worse, yet again there they were, to remind me that its only as bad as I let it be.

How could I not see that, or understand it? Why did I always feel alone if I never really was?

So many times I thought about myself and lost myself in the consumption of my own grief. To forget that the nights I cried my best friend was there to hold my hand and help heal my heart, how could I forget that through it all I was never alone?

As I sat with my head still bowed, I thought about moments I had forgot about; Missed opportunities; Words that had not been said; Visions I wouldn't see, and how to go back to change what I felt should have been. The times I wanted to call but too nervous; The apologies I should have given but too ashamed; The "I Love You's" I should have said but my pride got the best of me....

What do you do when you feel so lost? What do you do when you feel as if it was all in your control and you've let it all pass you by? How do you turn everything around to do the undone?

I lifted my head and let it set in, I thought about the lessons I learned, what I have taken with me through life and though the times were rough I always had a firm landing.
How did you know what I needed to hear? Though I may not have taken it in at that moment it stuck with me and though it was said way back when, the words have stayed relevant even today. How could something said in one moment hold true for another moment? It was so mind boggling to understand how that in one moment in time something said or a hand held a brush of the hair could still be heard and felt in a moment we never knew would exist and then....

I asked myself, How did I not see that you were there with me the entire time? With every person who traveled with me along my way you placed there, I was never alone. Every word spoken was yours, every hand that held mine was yours, every hug, brush of the hair was you. Every late night talk in my time of need was with you, in every friend who lent their shoulder you were there. You always knew what I needed and when I needed it, soothing my soul and healing my heart.

Tonight as I lay my head down I will not think about the things lost but about the life you give me each day and how through you I can do anything because I know that you are always beside me. I can move forward knowing that I am not alone but your love is always with me. Your words will be a thriving force in my life and I will no longer just travel the road that has now been lit, but I will respect the journey that only you trusted I could handle.