Great Expectations

Ladies... I think its time we have a little chat... Men you can LISTEN too, because this is to benefit you.

They say not to give the milk for free if you're trying to sell the cow... however when it comes to promotions ... sometimes a little is a good idea...

NOW GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THERE! That's not what I'm talking about!

I'm talking about a little preview into the world of an unpublished manuscript.
That's right... My books are nowhere near to being completed but I figure why not put some of the thoughts out there for those to read... Show a little and leave them wanting more right?!


Alright ladies here it goes...
In most of my dating life I've always wanted that perfect romance, the man whose everything I've ever dreamed I would have. The man who is attentive, the man who holds chivalry as if its a law but a pleasure, the man who does those special things for you just because he wants to... LADIES I THINK WE ALL KNOW HIM RIGHT?! But yet we cant find him...
He's in our dreams ... THAT IS THE ONLY PLACE HE EXISTS, the sooner you learn that the easier your relationships will be.

As the romantic and emotional creatures that we are, we want what our men to do what we envision our dream man doing and we punish our men for something they aren't even aware of.
I've yet to meet someone who has not been a victim of this, the same as I've yet to meet a woman that's never been guilty of this.

I spent so much time stressing myself out when all I had to do was listen...
THAT'S RIGHT! We yell at them all the time because they "don't listen" but yet.. did we pay attention to anything at all that they've done?
No I don't mean the bad things. Ladies you have to STOP overlooking the things your men do for you instead of only paying attention to what they "haven't" done...

We sit here all day and say I don't need fancy things or elaborate gifts... the little things are what matter, yet when they do things for you it's as if they never made the effort in your eyes.

A good friend of mine ( I hope she is okay with me using her as an example) was at work one day and there was a big day planned right after work. Her boyfriend knew that she would be hungry and as he rushed to get everything ready in time to pick her up from work, he also made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Now I know that most of you would be like... why wouldn't he pick her something up.. PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY?!?!
Yeah well, that's where you all make your first mistake.

When she gets in the car he gives her the sandwich and she says "What is this!? I don't want this..."

Ladies... IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT WE WANT, it's about what he's trying to do. As I watched him make that sandwich for her all I could think of was, wow! He's thinking of her, how sweet! When I saw how that gesture was received, I made sure she knew how that must have made him feel.
See we go through life and just move along, EXPECTING things of people, he should know, "I this, he should know I that" etc.

Some women do not get that kind of treatment... Some women get a nagging boyfriend and expect HER to do these things for him and as we all know, we don't live in the 1950's anymore, women serve more of a role than homemaker now.

She felt horrible after I told her, but that's a GOOD thing because if she hadn't have seen that, then she wouldn't be able to see any of the other little things he would do.

Just because he doesn't do what common sense tells him he should do doesn't make him wrong.
The ONLY thing you should ever EXPECT from your partner is LOVE to love you for who you are and that goes both ways.

If you want something ASK FOR IT. Just because you have known each other for years doesn't mean he "Should just know" because if that's the case then YOU "should just know" that he ISN'T going to know...that he EXPECTS you to tell him what you want.

We want men to do things to show us they care, or to do things because they want to, and we feel as though if we tell them, then they aren't doing it because they want to, but because we told them to. WRONG!
No it doesn't work that way, I am sorry to burst your bubble ladies but we are so good at reading between the lines ... except when it works in a good way. We take their words and turn them into what we think they're saying, or what we want to hear... and in doing ALL of that, we never took the time to listen to what they were actually saying...
Guess what... 9 times out of 10 what they're saying/doing is actually BETTER than what we expected in the first place, if we allow ourselves to see what he's TRYING to do.

So stop STRESSING yourselves out DRAMA QUEENS... just because you aren't fighting doesn't mean something is wrong, just because you didn't get a gift when you asked for it doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just because he isn't answering your every command doesn't mean he doesn't care ... it just means you're too wrapped up in your expectations.

The next time you find yourself doing this, take a minute to stop and ask yourself, I wonder what he expects from me, and then ask yourself; Have YOU ever bothered to think about the things he's mentioned that bother him?
MORE IMPORTANTLY have you ever said to YOURSELF he said he didn't like "this" about me, and then changed it for him on the spot? My guess is NO...
Time to stop calling the kettle black and tooting your own horn... You're no better than him if you're not putting yourself on the reverse end and taking a good look at yourself.

It's a 2 way street, we lose good people in our lives because we fail to see past our own expectations.


-D