Instruction Manual

Thats right Fellas... It's your turn.

In the last year I have been so obsessed with learning how the male mind works (Yes ladies... it works) that I thought I may have forgotten how ours works... Until a man made the sweetest gesture for me and it all came flowing back.

I thought to myself one day, If I hear another guy say that women need to come with an instruction manual I'm gonna!!! .... Write one for them!

So here it is... Believe it or not it's pretty simple.

WE WANT WHAT WE WANT... and sometimes reality doesn't always play a part in that.
Sorry ( Our Bad )

First thing is first... get to know the woman you're with because instruction manuals may not fit every model, but it will usually help for annual maintenance.

Every woman does have a Dream Man... Now I know I know... you thought he was some fictional character... but alas... I will have to correct you, because he REALLY DOES EXIST.
You will never see him, or hear him... But you will be compared to him every second of every day... You will only achieve his greatness once... At the beginning of your relationship...
You MAY catch a glimpse of him on your honeymoon but don't get comfortable because by that Monday You'll just be the man she married...

Okay so lesson #1 Unless its Sex... No always means YES.

Are we mad... NO = YES
Should I do this for her ... No you don't have to = Yes
Do I have to go ... You don't have to = If you know whats good for you, you better

So every email forward that you've received that states this... DID come from a woman IT'S TRUE.

Lesson #2 What a Woman Wants
(grab your pop corn and drink, you're gonna be here for a minute)

Women want you to do things just because you want to. What does that mean?
Perfect movie reference - "The Break Up'-' I want you to WANT to do the dishes"

Meaning- Because men are not typically the emotional creatures we are, we don't always get the verbal certification of the relationship so we look for actions.

Yes you may tell us you love us, or that you care about us but remember we're always comparing you to Mr. Dream Man, and Dream Man would do things for us without us asking (i.e. super cute gestures, gifts -candy flowers etc- ) these are called the "just because gifts". Now he doesn't have to do these things all the time, a couple times a month he would come home and say.. I know you don't like flowers but you seemed sad today I thought it would make you feel better. He would take her OUT to dinner and make a night just for her... HE would plan these things. Actions will always speak louder than words.

Here is a perfect example of a situation I had...

" I love doing sporting events but can we do something where not everyone is with us?!"
His Answer: If you want to do something, then just say it...

Can anyone figure out where he went wrong, or what he should have said??

-I'll give you a minute-

Correct Answer: I'm planning a weekend vacation for us, or Do You want to go to dinner/Movie, Let's go to the theme park (because we do still like that stuff) do you want to take a drive, or a walk.. lets spend the night in and watch movies... etc. you get my point.

Something as simple as making her dinner or breakfast here and there is something that counts.
We really do enjoy the small things... We notice them every time you do these things.
So if you thought that night of sex was just because you looked good that day... WRONG... you did something our Dream Man would do.

Compliments are the ABSOLUTE best way to get her to listen to you, or put her in a good mood, if you wake up and see that she's already not having it... NO MATTER WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE give her a compliment ... she takes that with her through the day.

LIES VS TRUTH -CONSEQUENCES

I know that you guys think, if I tell her (this) we're going to fight, I don't feel like fighting etc.

-ALWAYS TELL HER THE TRUTH-

Even if its something so stupid that you wouldn't imagine her being upset with you if you lied -tell the truth-

We hate nothing more than a lie. If you were just with your friends but you feel like " I don't have to tell her everything I do" THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS THROW THAT PRIDE AWAY ... You're in a relationship now there's no such thing as pride anymore no such thing as "I" anymore, you are her equal, if you're not doing anything wrong there's no reason why you can't be open with her. It's okay to tell her you're out with your friends, 9 times out of 10 she's not going to care. BUT if you lie and say your car broke down or some other ridiculous cover (that she doesn't believe anyway) you're going to cause a fight, and not just one but fights the rest of your relationship. Why you ask?

Because if you lie about something so small, our mind tells us... If he lied about something small what's stopping him from lying about something big... and that sticks with us. It's not even about trust so much, it's a protective mechanism that we have, the "fool us once shame on you, fool us twice shame on us" well we refuse to be fooled twice.

Example: If we know something is wrong, just tell us, because we will keep asking, or we will assume its us and then a fight will happen. IT JUST WILL.

We ALWAYS know when you're lying... even though we may seem like we believe you we will ALWAYS know when it's a lie. Don't believe me?? Think back about how she acts anytime something comes up that addresses what she knows you lied about... My guess is her mood changes a bit... that's because she's watching what you say... Because it is true...

WE DO NOT FORGET

and we will ask you that night ... I thought you said... ( your excuse here) well tonight you said ( new excuse)

We are not beneath you, and we will always let you know that. When you lie to us and EXPECT us to believe you, it makes us feel like you think we're stupid enough to believe SUCH A RIDICULOUS EXCUSE.

You may think we're upset about what you have to say to us, but trust that we are grown enough to deal with it and move on, because if you have a good woman that's exactly what will happen.
There may be things we need to know but you think we don't WANT to know... If we ask, just be honest, give us the opportunity to be able to make our own choices with all of the information we need to make an informed decision. You might argue but I guarantee that fight wont last as long as the one you will have if she finds out the truth on her own, or you finally give her the truth wayyy down the line.

If You leave this and only remember one thing always remember this... We are never mad... the emotion that propels us is not anger... You've hurt us... Women deal with anger differently than men and though we may come off upset... we're not... we're HURT and trust me you much rather us be angry than hurt. The arguments that you're having are with yourself until you realize you're fighting the wrong battle... You're in Waterloo and we're over here having the Civil War out... Nobody can fight alone and the sooner you realize that women fight different fights, the sooner arguments will be resolved.

Trust Goes Both Ways... If you want us to trust you, then trust we can handle things.

Guys Night Out

Let's say you're out and its late... she's calling non stop... and now you're mad because she wont stop calling. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ANSWER.

When you don't answer what do you think is going through her mind??

WRONG

No our first thought is not that you're cheating... OUR FIRST thought is, I hope he's alright, I hope he didn't get in an accident.
Once we've contacted authorities to make sure your car hasn't been reported anywhere, NOW we're thinking...

"He better have been in an accident because otherwise he's going to WISH that was the case"

Ladies you know we've all said it...

We are nurturers first... we cannot bare the thought of something happening to the man we love. It's the worst feeling imaginable. For us, all we need is if you're going to be longer than maybe what you said you were going to be, AND YOU AREN'T CHEATING ... never text it... always call to say hey, I'm having a good time with the guys, I'm going to stay a little longer. (but you better have at least spent some time with us before this - QUALITY TIME - )

That is all we need to hear. You can have a life outside of us, because believe me we want one too, but you all know we would call to tell you what we're doing and give you updates.

We understand that we're not going to be on your minds all the time, but make us think we are.

It's as simple as Think before you do... Think of her when you're about to do something nice... Think of her when you're about to do something stupid...

We are not as simple as you... not by any means... but if you break it down into a summary,
Trust, Being Thoughtful, and Just because... Those 3 things will get you far... further than you are now my guess is....

To Be Continued
Book coming soon....
-D