Tunnel Vision

I'm going to try to write this without it sounding cheesie or like a cliche.
So many women struggle with the the decision of "Should I go after the best there is?" or "I'm afraid I won't find him and I'm getting older, should I just settle?" Going back and forth between these decisions drives us insane and doesn't allow you to listen to YOURSELF.

You have to find that medium... what is in the middle?

I have gone through my life with the same check list that everyone has, but I also learned that settling isn't always the worst thing ... but, with that said it isn't always the best either.

I've gone through so many emotions through my journey of the Love tunnel, that a Novel could not begin to shed light on what I've learned, but with this I will say I have learned the most important lesson and that is, Happiness...

I decided to do better, I decided to not stay quiet and hide behind what we feel is safe.
I for once decided to let myself feel what was in my heart and allow my heart to see what it had been blinded by. I decided to start over....

My check list has dwindled as I've grown older, which is because from each experience I checked off the boxes and made a new list, and now that list will end at this...

He looks at me with love in his eyes
He doesnt talk to me like it's an obligation
He;s respectful enough to treat me as an equal
It 's never a competition, unless its all in fun
When the tough gets going, he doesn't run with it
He's not selfish, but considerate ...
He's not afraid of what I can give
Most Importantly He's in it to win it.

Fortunately I had to learn these things in order to put me where my heart belongs.
Do I have all of these things now? No... I don't so does that mean I bail, or that I settle? No, it means that the ones in your life who are planning to stay in it, start listening up and get with the program.

Remember that happy medium I was talking about? Well here it is...
There will be days where nothing is right, and there will be days where nothing is wrong... but life is just that... life, its not perfect, but imperfections make us who we are. Learning to accept another person is difficult when different ideas clash but you can't let that effect and interfere with the vision you have of each other, because besides the little ridiculous things you bicker about, the person you fell in love with is still in there.

If you're like me, which I hope you're not... I tend to get very anxious, major anxiety at times, so regular situations are magnified ... so I will take my own time to literally clear my head and breathe and remind myself of that person, I don't just mean my partner, I mean myself... Because it is not ALWAYS their fault... I ask myself," Am I doing the same that I ask of him?" And when the answer is no, I remember why I fell in love to begin with.

People don't often take the time to ACTUALLY think about the situation, they get on the defensive and then from that point on its just down hill.

Start by remembering what made you fall in love first, then think about how you could have handled the situation...and fix it.

Don't let the situations/fights/hard times become your relationship...

Don't be afraid to KNOW what you want, and don't be afraid to fight for it.

Obviously this is from a Female perspective but ...Men...
Please take this in as well...

Be her biggest fan, respect her and always be her friend, Because when a man lets her down, there's nobody she needs more than her best friend.