Today I witnessed a man in what looked to be an over sized dirty worn out jacket it looked as if it had been run over by ten trucks, pants that barely covered his ankles. I sat in my car watching as he dug through the trash, and he looked as if he was frustrated finding small plastic bottles but very few. I meant to get out of the car to give him some change but when I looked back up he was gone...
I walked out of the restaurant I was in about 15 minutes later and did not see him. I am usually the person that says, the guy with the sign probably makes a living off of this as a con, or they just want it for drugs or beer...
I felt something this time, I asked the Lord, if he is truly in need, Lord show me him again...
I didnt see him... I was on my way and a ways down the street I happened to look to my left and I saw him walking ... He was walking without his bag, I made a quick turn and drove up next to him... "Excuse me sir, I'm not sure of the proper way to do this, he slowly walked up to my window, I stretched my hand out and gave him a $10.00 bill...
I have been in the midst of turmoil without even realizing it, I was losing myself and couldn't understand what was going wrong, what had I done?? I was asking the wrong questions.
When the day had turned into night, it was as if I hadn't realized ... There hadn't been any light as of late, conversations were just that and nothing more, falling into what was a bottomless pit it felt as if I had already hit the end though it continued. Not able to grasp at anything not even the truth, I found the light.
I had seen the darkness before, but only in dreams... I was starting to see it all around me now, though I hadn't seen it this way before I knew immediately what it was. I was being attacked from within, like a microwave it was cooking my heart to the point it was going to explode, or maybe it had, but I saw the love that was around me and it mended.
You can love many people, although people break your heart, its not impossible to fix. We were meant to love, God is Love, to know him is to love him, I had forgot that somewhere along my way. I was on a journey and just like that! I had lost my way. So focused on the things I felt I loved most, I was being distracted and led into my own demise. We have to remember to love Him first and ourselves next, only through him can we know true love.
What better way to know his love that to not only feel it... but to see it?
I had felt an overwhelming feeling, so much I was about to explode with love ... and then...
He smiled at me, as his callused hand touched mine... he smiled...
D
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