Offensive Line

I am at the moment filled with the words that need to be said but without the way to lay them down...
I'm never at a loss for words but recently, I don't know, I've been at a loss of... rationalizations.

We get hit and knocked down and it's tough to get back up, even for the strongest of people, it's a funny thing about love, it may just be one of the most dangerous drugs there is...

I've learned so much in the last 12 years, see I, as I've said before, I love hard, I'm a hopeless romantic and I believe in Love and so in that I've loved and lost, and hurt in some of the worst ways possible... But still I am here.

We rely a lot on what others feel, or think, to the point that we let that stop us from relying on our own intuition, or our own common sense, and feelings.

There are many reasons that relationships don't work, many to me that are just excuses to be very honest, but some ... that are just misunderstood.

Heartache is an emotion that was given to us just like Love, unfortunately, you take one you get the other... Now it may not be major heartache and some may say that yours is nothing compared to theirs which will probably be true.. but you will always have both at least to some capacity. This is not something to be worried about, because if you are like me... It takes a lot to be forgiving, but when you love someone, you love them whole heart and soul and that's all it takes to forgive. I spend my day looking back on the happiness that led me to where I am, and though I may not be in the brightest place at the moment, the road that led me there was radiant.

You have to weigh the good and the bad, for me short of something catastrophic, the good always outweighs the bad. The pain will subside...

I do my best to give the best advice I can, but the best advice I think I've ever given is "take only your own advice, because at the end of the day only you know your situation" Yes its great to have feedback from others but at the end of the day its your life and nobody can live it for you.

Let me give you this one piece of advice, if you take anything with you from this post; Let yourself love, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, outsiders, friends, family or even the other person you're in the relationship with... Let yourself love its okay to do that!

I stopped writing here last night, I needed to really reflect on what I was trying to say with the intent I originally envisioned.

Remember to love yourself before you try to love anyone else, because 9 times out of 10 its more than likely lust; Once you love yourself there are no questions after that. If you do not know how to love yourself how do you know if you're loving the other?
Settle for nothing other than what you want in life, if that means that the love you share with someone isn't exactly understandable to anyone else.... guess what... GOOD NEWS! ITS NOT THEIR LIFE!

I can say that without a doubt, what makes me happy is the man in my life, things will never be perfect, but he keeps me centered, probably without even knowing it. Yes, I complain about this that and the other, but if you know me, I COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING, because I'm usually bored, rest assured that with every complaint I know that there is nobody else worth it to me. My happiest moments in life are with him or because of him and any day of the week I know that's worth more than first place and gold. Will he understand that? Will anyone else? No, I doubt it, because this is me, my feelings and how I live, I live for me. What matters is, you understanding that, and enough to make that your focus, allowing yourself to feel all that comes with it and grow.

We don't always get our prince charming, or the Love we try to keep, and there might come a time when you have to sit back and say... I've given my all, and at least I know that I tried and at the end it just wasn't right....

Should this time come for you, you have to remember that it truly is not the end of the world. Would it kill me to lose my life? Yes... I've spent every day eating, sleeping, breathing this love.. so yes it would be as if the wind was knocked out of me, but I will breathe again...
Love is in you, not someone else... Allow yourself to love and someone will gravitate towards it, I promise. Take the time to get back to you, to remember who you are outside of someone else, whether you're with someone, or not... take that time, and the Love will find you again...